


mizpah

by etherealjk



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, M/M, hinata just misses kageyama, i have no explanation for this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-11
Updated: 2020-06-11
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:53:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24668689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/etherealjk/pseuds/etherealjk
Summary: hinata feels the ghost of kageyama wherever he goes
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13





	mizpah

hinata doesn't think he's experienced all life has to offer.

he's only 22 but he knows there's more waiting for him out there. he knows out there in the big wild world, he can make a name for himself. by himself. he's hinata shoyou - he's the little giant.

becoming a part of msby black jackals was a once in a lifetime opportunity. hinata cannot deny the freedom he feels on the court with the team. he feels stronger, more agile, more strong-willed. he feels as if he's unlocked a higher level of himself. there's an endless amount of opportunities out there, waiting for him.

and there's still more to look forward to, he tells himself.

he just needs to push himself more, needs to focus more, needs to stop letting his mind wander to - 

_him._

kageyama tobio, the raven haired setter who made hinata experience things he'd never before, the bastard who hinata used to stand next to, now his opponent.

hinata hated him, hated the way a simple image of the boy could send him spiraling with the feelings he had smoldered. the embers of hinata's feelings rekindled with every memory, would make him wake up in sweat after dreams of the way the two used to be glued to the hip back in school. hinata hated that it took him too long to realize these feelings for the setter. would stare up at the ceiling and wonder if tobio ever thought of him. 

the first time they stood in front of each other after years of seeing each other, divided by the net and miles of unsaid words, hinata could remember the shivers he got when he took in the dark look in his former setter's eyes. the eyes which used to sparkle after each win seemed slightly dimmer, the smiles which he used to give to hinata whenever they would score a point was now an indescribable expression through the net. 

that match, when hinata did his signature spike, deep down in the part of his heart which he had locked up during his time in brazil, tremored against its shackles with guilt when he scored. the guilt that used to run deep through hinata's veins through practice surged once again, leaving him light-headed. hinata heard his teammates scream in joy, could feel bokuto run up to him, but all he could do was stare at tobio who was staring back, his face unreadable. 

it took everything inside of hinata to stop himself from grabbing the net and pleading that it's not the same without him. that it took him painful nights spent in the hot air with the volleyball in between his hands to finally agree to spike with atsumu; that though they could do it, it wasn't his toss.

it wasn't kageyama's toss.

because in each toss of tobio's, there was faith in hinata's jump. that hinata would run across the whole court to make the ball connect back to him. that he'd never leave the setter with no one to spike. 

back in high school, when hinata came to the club with a deep frown in his face, his lips wobbling, kageyama took notice of it. he didn't press the boy, gave him the room he needed, and waited till everyone left. when it was just the two of them, he walked behind the quiet boy and tugged at the sweater donned on the small boy.

_let's do some few rounds_

because with every match the two played side by side since their first year, they grew tuned to each other. they knew what the other needed, without speaking. there was something tied between the duo - telepathy? whatever you'd call it, the two knew each other. the two needed each other.

now, standing in this large court where a flimsy net divided the two, hinata couldn't help but allow himself to foolishly think with a wobbling throat if kageyama didn't need him anymore. 

it took his excited teammates tackles and thumps on the back to jerk him back to the world, where he was not a simple middle blocker staring at his setter but a prominent member of the msby black jackals - that he wasn't the same first-year boy. 

every cheer his teammates called out to him went over hinata's head a lot of times. high fives given after a score was not as meaningful as it felt back when hinata was a tiny 15 year old. head ruffles done with affection didn't have that same endearment it used to have when -

when it was _him_ who gave it to hinata. 

in the bathroom after the match, hinata splashed himself with cold water running from the sink, letting it sluice down his face in rivulets. 

_i can go to him right now_

_i can ask him to toss to me_

_to show him that i.._

hinata glanced up at his reflection in the mirror, digging his teeth in his lips to stop the pained whimpers from leaving as he felt his tears run with the water. 

_i still need you kageyama-kun_

**Author's Note:**

> mizpah;  
> (n.) the deep emotional bond between people, especially those separated by distance or death.
> 
> come talk to me on twitter @suakatsu !! <3


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